The Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing But the Truth

And are those three different things?  I was reading a post this week on  Language Log which held forth on this exact subject in light of the Alberto Gonzales thing.   Can you tell someone some part of the truth without telling them the whole truth, say, in order to spare their feelings?  That tack rarely works and sometimes causes real damage.  Can you bring up extraneous items that are simply tangential to the truth to bolster your case?  Even less honorable or ethical.  So.  The three are not the same thing but they all have to be present in order for there to be truth?  Gosh, is it kind of like the Triune God -- inexorably linked?  Talk amongst yourselves.

'Cause yesterday was all kinds of crazy in the shop.  No, not busy, in fact there were only these two customers.  But when two customers result in a rash and and some other kind of histamine reaction and a crisis of understanding in terms of the purpose of things, well... all kinds of crazy like I said. 

Two older ladies, friends it seems came in together.  One gal had bought several alpacas as an investment.  Which I understand not at all.  Oh.  Wait, I get that they are a write off and that you sink like $35,000.00 into a breeding animal and develop a herd.. blah, blah, blah, ... yes, I get the economics of it.  But this gal had a bag full of spun yarn and was looking for a purpose for it. 

One bag.  Like a plastic grocery bag.  Of yarn.  From several multi-thousand dollar animals.  Wait.  She did say she had another bag of same out in the car.  And I wondered aloud, "So, the purpose of these animals is... yarn?  Meat?  What?"   'Cause I was thinking this thing would have to live like 500 years to make back an investment in yarn at this rate.  And she proceeded to explain the write-offs she's getting and how she lost so much money in the stock market crash after 9-11 and how alpacas were going to be just it for her retirement.   Um.  But what are they for?

"Honey," she said, "you write them off.  Their vet bills, their food, everything." 

We weren't speaking the same language.   Meanwhile, Rachel had to go wash her hands so the histamine reaction to the yarn she was experiencing on her hands and arms didn't spread.  I thought the yarn was seriously twine like -- no loft or softness, but Rachel liked the heft of it.  It was still quite dirty -- lots of dander and VM and who knows what else.  There was also some baby alpaca yarn that was a lovely chocolate brown and very soft -- much better processing, I think.  Anyway, I too was getting rashy so I put it all away.   

What this gal really wanted was advice.  Not really selling or processing advice, but knitting advice.  But she doesn't knit.  It's her friend who knits.  And this friend is going to knit her 10 or so scarves out of this yarn to give as holiday gifts.  (We said wash it first...)  So together, the ladies chose a number of skeins of novelty yarn to put with the alpaca and went off to Ted Drewes for frozen custard.  Leaving me to scratch ... my head and the rash on the back of my hand. 

Somehow, investing in several alpacas, the intrinsic value of which is virtually nil considering the yarn this gal brought in seems wrong.  Smoke and mirrors.  And I see ads for "the alpaca lifestyle" all over cable television and yarn industry publications.  I guess I can see it if you have a farm... or if you spin or knit.  (I'll tell you who's making the money -- the rancher guy who provides the service of taking care of these investment animals.)  She told me that since the government had banned the importation of more alpacas, the value of her existing blue-ribbon animals had sky-rocketed. 

Ok.  If you have gobs of money and need a write-off and can get said write-off with animals in this manner, something is terribly wrong with our tax system.  And what's to stop the code from changing - maybe next year the ban will be lifted on alpacas and instated on angora goats.  Then, I'd say you've got yourself a 9 dollar llama.  Excuse me, alpaca.

Edited to add:  Kelly and Margene bring up good points.  I think I've been a bit flip here.  Who me?  Nah... I never publish anything to the internet off the cuff or in a flip manner.  Well, just this once.  I kind of feel that this gal's been taken advantage of.  Either that or that  her tax shelter takes advantage of me.  And maybe it's because this particular investment had absolutely nothing to do with the alpaca's fleece.  Which I love.  Wherein I think lies it's value in a marketplace.  And the really nasty preparation of the yarn... So.  I bet you haven't heard the last of me on this subject.

Comments

[margene]

Hmmm well, I do have freinds with REAL alpaca farms and they (and their yarns) are nothing like that woman. However, I did enjoy this post very much;-)

[Kelly]

I can't figure out the whole Alpaca thing either. If you have them because you love the animals I get it but as far as yarn goes do you really make your money back.

[Pat K]

I shall weigh in. If I were to get an alpaca, it would be because I wanted one and it would be a pet as well as providing yarn. I'm not into tax write offs. I have enough fun just figuring out what I owe and making sure that enough gets withheld. Alpaca write offs would just be a bigger headache.

[Susan]

I say skip the bloody alpacas and their dirty yarn and head directly to Ted Drewe's!!