More like 'Can I Unload On You All? That rant I had brewing the other day? Turns out naked lady surprise lilies only work for so long, and better out than in I always say. Or is that Hagrid. And since all my knitting is stealth and off blog limits, what else do I have to blog about anyway?
First off. Had to go to Walmart today. Had to. See, I'm the art teacher for this little 65 kid summer camp this week which means 3 crafts a day for 5 days for 65 kids -- some of which can overlap, but still. Supplies, lesson plan, the whole shebang. Whew.
So the crafts I wanted to do today and tomorrow involve panty hose. And since I, myself, have a drawer-full of unused pantyhose -- wear them only to weddings -- I figured everyone did and would like to donate them. I guess the women who attend this church either wear pantyhose still -- who does that? Or they clean their drawers out more often than I do -- a more likely possibility. Short story long, only like 7 pairs of hose come in after two days -- I need 120 or so panty legs. And I needed -- today -- some flower seeds. Guess what ... it's August. The only flower seeds I'm getting are those I pick off of my own flowers.
Four garden stores, and "Those are out of season, ma'am" I got like four times, two with eye-rolls. So, I say to my self, where can I get cheap panty hose and flower seeds in one stop, close by? The dreaded answer -- Walmart. Normally, I avoid Walmart like the plague -- why? Oh, I don't know, just on some vaguely formed, left-leaning principle in part. And because they're skeezy I guess. Whatever.
But I was right -- they had both. Very cheap panty hose and, of course, out-of-season, clearance priced flower seeds. Yeah, I clean my drawers out with the same comparative frequency that Walmart updates their merchandise apparently -- I'm so proud. Ok, "Yay", you say -- "good on you, Annie. Last minute planning pays off! You're living right!"
Except that while I was going from the hose to the seeds, I saw an elderly lady, cane hooked on her cart, contemplating the aisle of -- get this -- personal fans. Personal fans of every color, make and model. Personal fans with necklaces attached, personal fans with stands, personal fans with an extra personal fan free alongside, and my personal favorite -- personal fans with squirt bottles attached, red, white, and blue, of course. This little lady was wondering whether to get the 89 cent fan without batteries or the 99 cent fan with batteries included. Because she has batteries at home and how good really can 10 cent batteries be -- but hey, 10 cent batteries, ... you don't come across those every day... and it is really hot outside. 101 today, supposed to be. Such a conundrum. (Ok, she didn't say "conundrum", that's my word. And I like to use it when I get the chance. Which isn't that often really.)
What, you don't have the same aversion I have to personal fans? You don't think they're useless crap? Come on, you haven't had like 12 of them cycle through your household as gifts or parts of grab bags or prizes at crap fairs? And, really, do you ever have a personal fan with you when you need it? My kind of personal fan? The one that's the magazine or the program I have in my hand. Not that bit of plastic and batteries -- sheesh, Americans. Sheesh, Walmart. No fewer than 7 kinds of them, confusing little elderly ladies. For shame.
That's my problem in a nutshell with Walmart actually. They have 10 kinds of each kind of crap and it's priced really low. So that, somehow, we don't pay the real price of the merchandise -- yet. Do you know that one of the things America exports the most of is last season's clothes? That our perfectly good used clothes go to the third world in bales by the ton? Shipped out from ports all over the East and West Coast? And that we give away that export? Well, the collectors probably sell it and make a little money, and if I have time I get a tax receipt, but, really... And each of those little fans with it's plastic and it's battery has a half life of like 10, 000 years in a landfill (where all twelve of the ones we've owned certainly are)! The real price for Walmart merchandise will be paid by our grandchildren. Of that, I'm sure. And yeah, I'm picking on Walmart because I was in the Kirkwood store today, and as Amanda will surely comment, it is the ickiest store on the planet -- it feels like things are going to fall on your head, and there are piles of things all over the place -- can't even move the cart. Maybe there are nice Walmarts somewhere, but I'll buy my crap at Target any time, price be damned. At least Target gives 4 cents on the dollar to my kid's school.
Second, and more painful, is the current Boy Scout Camp fiasco in my household. Somehow I didn't know/wasn't told/didn't think to ask about the fact that the other 4 boys attending are going with their dads. Son figured it out today, and make no mistake, had Dad known ahead of time that this was the deal, he'd be going. He doesn't miss stuff with the kids when given sufficient notice. He just doesn't. But he's out of the country this week and his attending this camp is not gonna happen, and I can't go due to the above camp.
My sweet little boy is heartbroken -- he was so looking forward to this, his first big overnight camp, and no reading over of the manual where it states nowhere that dads are supposed to go and in fact says that only two adults are supposed to go with 5 campers not four adults... no discussing it will change his mind that he won't fit in or won't feel comfortable. Hoping to change this point of view after I get to talk to one of the other moms involved. I don't hold out much hope. Dear Son was born smack in the middle of Taurus during the year of the Bull -- two totally divergent horoscope traditions agree on this kid (as they do on me, by the way -- smack in the middle of Leo born in the year of the Tiger.) Anyway, as with the power outages, when hubby was in the Grand Canyon for 3 of the 4 days, I'll weather this storm with my kids. My perk this year was London -- and quite a perk it was. Now I've got to get on earning my next year's perk...which I hope will be this with my Mom.
**Edited to add -- Thanks for all the support for the boy. He slept on it and wanted to go. I left him at camp this afternoon happily catching spiders with his buddies. All's well that ends well.
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