Break Out the Cigars

The Annie Knits family has a baby in the house.  Psych.

 

This, blog friends, is Dear Daughter's Parenting Class baby, Stirling.  With an 'i'.  

Stirling is Dear Daughter's responsibility for six days.  24 hours a day.  

He does many of the things a 2 month old baby does.  He needs his diapers changed often.  A chip in his anatomically correct nether regions tells his micro processor whether she's changed his chip imbedded diaper for another one.  Once new pants are installed, he coos contentedly.

He eats about every 2 hours -- she's chosen to breast feed.  I'll give you a moment to clean the coffee off of your keyboard.  Ahem.  That square clipped to his chest?  She clips it to hers and he ... well ... feeds.  There's also some kind of attitude measuring do-dad that records whether she's holding him right or if she's cheating and just sticking that thing on his face.  There is a lot of fussing if he's not held in the correct attitude.  FYI, if you want to freak your husband out completely, have your 16 year old daughter breast feed her plastic baby at the dinner table.  It's a sure thing.

After Stirling eats, he has to burp.  Sometimes he burps right away, sometimes it takes awhile.  Dear Daughter is very patient with him.

Sometimes Stirling just fusses.  Like yesterday at 5 p.m. he just fussed for half an hour.  He didn't want food (no contented sucking at the blue square) and his diaper wasn't in need of a change (no cooing when we swapped them out).  He didn't burp either.  He just fussed.  Sound familiar?

Stirling doesn't sleep through the night yet either.  I heard him fuss last night at about 1:40 and again at about 6:00 a.m.  Dear Daughter said she fed, changed, and burped him and that he stayed up about 20 minutes each time.  That's a pretty good baby.  I remember mine would want to play in the middle of the night after they'd eaten.

Anyhoo, she's upstairs now taking a shower.  She asked if she should take him in the bathroom with her because what would happen if he cried and she couldn't hear him.  I told her that I'd taken showers with her in the bathroom at that age when her dad was traveling.  See, if it takes her more than two minutes to respond to him, when the teacher downloads his activity for the week, it'll show up and affect her Parenting grade.  

I'm seriously glad that my babies didn't come with microprocessors that recorded my level of attentiveness to them.  Yikes.

As an aside, I laughed until I cried and had hiccups when she fed him at the table last night.  Then I went and got my camera and took a bunch of pictures.  To which Dear Husband archly responded, "You know, we are not all here for your amusement."  

Could have fooled me.

 

Here's the giant pile of cables next to my knitting chair.  I'm 6 inches from finishing the back of Portland.  Still loving it.  And the Aran Wrap Cardigan of Doom?  6 20-minute rows from finishing that sucker too.  Since I have to ice my lower back several times a day to reduce the inflammation there, I'll certainly be done with both soon.  Before the Olympics are done?  No Way.

Finally, I watched a little Curling with Dear Husband who's home with a cold today.  Donald Sutherland was in the audience.  He looked about as glazed over as I felt.  I have composed an email to NBC requesting that there be subtitles translating future curling commentary.  Because, at this even end, my rock is not even in the house and my pool shot swept wide.  Whatever.

Comments

[Rachel]

*snerk* LOL! ROFLMAO, even!

[Amanda]

If they are not there for your amusement, then why are they there at all?

[Sarah Kate]

I remember parenting class when I was in high school. They gave out bags of flour. So, what we all want to know is, did she name this baby?

[Laura]

Oh my word. Yes. Stirling. lol I hope my kids never do this, though I would imagine its supposed to be an exercise in early prevention. heh Very funny. Very very funny. And the 2-minute timer? Thank You GOD for not putting those on real babies!!! Sometimes Mama cannot get there in less than two minutes!